Why do people say if it were meant to be it would be?

Where is the logic in that statement. God is not a genie and he does not make things happen for us. I believe we have to be proactive in our lives. Destiny is never about chance it is all about choices that we make. I heard about a woman looking ot comfort a grieving woman who just lost her 10 day old baby because her husband accidentally fell asleep and smothered the baby...her words of comfort were...God has a plan...blah, blah, blah. I am a christian and guess what...that wasn't God's plan at all...accidents happen..that is part of life. People get divorced that isn't God's plan for anyone's life. It doesn't have anything to do with meant to be...mostly has to do with pride and selfishness in my opinion. What do you think?