Saturday, August 13, 2011

What do you think about my poem?

The ending makes perfect sense to me - her eyes are like windows, so the observer can see what she is hiding (the pain). Some of the poem isn't 100% clear, but it would be a crappy poem if it didn't force the reader to think and try to work it out. Maybe a title that hinted at the underlying story would help though - i don't know what the violence and imitations are, and I suspect you've used those words because they rhyme rather than because they're important? Try not to do that - it's better to have a poem that's thematically tight but doesn't rhyme.

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